Or at least with the minimum shameful moments of traumatic hideousness possible. Dress like a normal person And by that, I mean comfortably. Note by one, I mean one single measure/small glass of wine, not one entire bottle, oops, where did that go, oh well, date time, hic.Yes, you might have these amazing new skyscraper heels with make your legs look incredible except you can't actually walk in them? Yes you might have this incredible corsetty vintage dress which is amazing except you can't actually breathe in it? You can be as edgy as you like, but don't wear clothes that turn basic movement into a challenge. OR - get there early and take the opportunity to get one in before he arrives. Second-guessing everything I say, trying not to fidget, and working on overdrive to figure you out. Here's a peek at my first date fears and hang-ups and what you can do to put me at ease. I often find myself in the following situation: I'm sitting across from a guy, having a great time, enjoying the company. Except, I can't stop wondering whether he thinks I'm a potential girlfriend or just a girl friend. Regardless, when a guy won't look at me straight on, I feel like my eyes are emitting death-rays. I once went out on a first date with a man who showed up with his shirt on inside-out. After this occurred a third time, I finally asked him (completely sincerely) whether this was a fashion statement (after all, I kid you not, he did work in fashion). That being said, I would not recommend skipping the fly check before you go out. More important than what you say is the meta-data I'm filtering while we're out. I'm looking for signs that the person you are projecting is The Real You. If you're giving me the song-and-dance, I'm going to totally be on to you. Do you have any idea how much thought and deliberation I've put into my half of the check dance? Then, when I suggest that we get the bill, you can just say, all suave-like, "It's already taken care of." Wow. Do us both a favor and give me an opening I can work with. On the other hand, if you're really excited about me, just tell me.And, of course, after our first date, I'm going back to my friends to dish over every detail, especially if I really like you. Now that we've graduated from playschool (ahem, college), having friends of the opposite sex is par for the course. A cool superpower, but not exactly what I had in mind when I was putting on the mascara. I've been out so many times with men who sit back, totally aloof, while I smile and nod and try my best to carry on a conversation with someone who might as well be a rock (and not the cuddly "pet" kind, either). I once went out with a man who informed me that he takes girls he's only marginally interested in to Dippin' Dots (no, we were not consuming the "Ice Cream of the Future" at the time). For example, do your stories feel like they're way too practiced, i.e. When I was younger, I always insisted on splitting the bill 50/50. No matter what your guy friends tell you, acting all nonchalant at the end of a date is not going to help you. She could say flat-out that she's not that into you.You want to put your best self forward, and keeping a calm, relaxed pace will help ease the pressure. Pick a place with which you are familiar Please do not be the girl that says “whatever” or “I don’t care” when your date asks you where you would like to go.Get a feel for what he / she likes and think of some places you’ve been before. Starting out with just coffee or a drink is a great way to avoid culinary snafus as well. Unless your date is a super-bitch, a little wardrobe malfunction is not going to make or break you. I admit, sometimes I even want to take you home on the first date, but I'm really embarrassed to ask. If you don't think we're a good fit, you don't have to be rude about it, but don't go making promises to call me, either. Asking about my food preferences before you plan our first date does so much to minimize surprises. I've spent many an evening wondering how you've managed to go all day with that tag stuck on your pants, your buttons not aligned, and mismatched socks.
If you’re going out to dinner, make sure there’s enough time to shower and do your hair / makeup without feeling rushed.
So what if you had a different goal for a first date?
What if your goal was just to try to connect with the other person and enjoy yourself?
NB the other benefit of this is not having to do the hideous walk through the bar/look for him manoeuvre of uncool awks because you are already seated/busy with your phone and he can find you actually kthxbai.
Have an opener One of the easiest first dates I've had started disastrously - while I was getting ready the cat-I'm-sort-of-stealing bit my face and I had a massive panic (a friend of mine had recently been bitten in the arm by a cat and spent a week in hospital having what we affectionately termed 'The Mutant Claw' seen to).